On Losing a Fight

My guy best friend Ole lost in his latest tournament in Turkey last Saturday. Real sad. When I met him maybe 4 years ago, he was then a young professional kickboxer dreaming of going to Thailand and be famous. Now, he lives in Thailand and is famous, at least in the European kickboxing world, and he’s still the same modest guy that he’s always been to me.

I’ve never had the chance of watching him live but I’ve been with him “in spirit” in quite a number of his past fights. Each one is different, some he feels confident, some he’s not sure, but each and every time, I always remind him that in a fight, one emerges as the winner, the other as the loser. In every fight, he has a 50% chance of being either of the two. I know he knows that, but I remind him anyways.

It’s fun when he wins, especially after a fight, when I start to read commentaries about his performance in kickboxing forums. I feel really proud when I read very good reviews about his fights, and how he performed. It’s even better when I get to see video clips of his fight. Even if I already know he won, I end up jumping up and down and clapping my hands like it’s a live video feed.

I’ve never heard Ole brag about his achievements in kickboxing. Never can I remember him being boastful whenever he wins a fight. Many people who have followed his career look up to him because he has remained grounded. He’s famous, but none of that every got to his head. That is why, it’s harder when he loses in a fight because, if he would just chuckle whenever I say he must be really good to have won, to have all these fans, or to be that famous, his reaction is the opposite when he loses. I guess it’s because we’re that close, to me, he doesn’t mind sharing his feelings. Like he just got back from Turkey and immediately went online, and openly admitted to me that he’s sad about his latest loss. And I know it was even harder for him on that fight because his opponent was Turkish, and hearing all those people cheering for your opponent makes it hard to concentrate. Ole has always been like that. He once felt so bad when he went sparring with a Filipino guy because according to him, the guys family was there cheering, and he felt like the evil white guy. And that was just a small crowd, how much more a whole arena of people cheering for the other guy.

On occasions like that, I totally don’t know what to say. It’s easy congratulating him for a job well done, but it’s the hardest comforting him over a loss. To me, he is always a winner because I know he puts his heart in every fight. He risks his life, his health, his everything. I know that with this last fight, he had an injury with his shin that he decided not to be operated on because it meant he would miss the tournament in Turkey. I remember him saying, “I’d rather hurt during the fight than not fight at all”. And I know for a fact that it’s not the first time he fought not feeling 100% well. It’s harder when he breaks something after a fight. I remember he once broke a rib after a fight and scared the hell out of me. He has also been knocked out once and was out for a couple of seconds, minutes maybe, that when he came back he could hardly remember where he was.

My boy has been through a lot, and I really hope he gets over this recent loss very fast. Like I always tell him, I still think he’s the best coz that’s what a #1 fan would think and feel, no matter what, even when he’s already a retired fighter, which is happening soon. I wish that someday I could watch him fight live and cheer my heart out for him. He’s always told me he thinks he doesn’t want me to see him fight coz I might end up puking in the corner if I see blood from his face. But what the hell, I will not care even if I end up fainting.

So for mah boy: “May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optimism.” You’re still the best!