It’s OK to be a Bad Christian

Got this from Rockwell of Stephen Speaks’ MySpace blog. This morning I went into some reminiscing session with my friend Chris about the songs/bands that we like and Stephen Speaks was one of those that got mentioned because we are both big fans of the former group. So when I got home, I turned the computer on and listened to some of my Stephen Speaks mp3s while watching football (yes, I know, weird combination). Anyhoo, when I got to work I went to their website where I haven’t been to in the loooongessst time, considering I used to go there like every 2 hours per day when they were still really big here. And I don’t regret that, I got to meet a lot of real nice people, and that’s not only limited to the band members. But I digress, I really want to talk about what was written in Rockwell’s blog.

My Christian life is something I refuse to talk about, even to myself, maybe because I am not particularly proud of it. I used to be one those what other people call as a “chuch goer”, back in those days when Sunday school was really fun, and also Vacation Bible school during summer, Friday night Bible studies, even concerts. I totally loved it. Those were during my grade school days. When I got to high school, I had less time for church activities mainly coz of the heavy school load. I couldn’t not take care of my studies first or else I would flunk high school, and it wasn’t just a normal high school, it was a Science High School so the pressure was really on.

Come college years, that’s when things got screwed up. My college alma mater is known for it’s Catholic teachings, we were run by a priest, I had priests too as professors on some of my subjects, I was surrounded by Catholic chapels, Catholic friends, and I took 5 subjects of Theology based on Catholic teachings. And I had the hardest time switching from a Catholic world where I spend 5 or 6 days of my week and the Christian world every Sunday. I decided then on that religion is not important, it’s the relationship I have with God that has more bearing. So I go to a church when I feel like going to a real peaceful place where I can just talk to the Big Guy up there when I want to, but I generally thought of myself as a really apathetic Christian, coz I don’t go to church anymore, hardly have time to read the Bible, or even have my quiet times.

And I am not proud of that at all. It took a lotta guts for me to write about it here now. I guess its something that has been a nagging personal issue of mine that I refuse to deal with for the longest time. And seriously, I want to do something about it, I just don’t know how. First off, I want to find a new church, or go to a new church, not because I hate the people at our old church, but more of because I want to start anew. These people who I would see at our old church are the same people I have been with since I was a kid, they saw me grow up, and maybe it’d be better if I’d be with newer faces. Thing is, I don’t know how, with this crazy schedule that I keep.

But, I was really blessed with what Rockwell said that it’s ok to be a bad Christian, what’s important is you try to be better. It’s easy to be a Christian, but it’s not easy to be a functioning Christian, much more a good one. It takes a lot of effort, a lot of time, a lot of commitment, and more importantly, a lot of prayers. And it’s ok to fail, because no one is good at something overnight. So now, I am at peace with being a “Bad Christian”, at least i don’t plan on being that way forever.